Life for me has changed drastically within the last several years. I don't even know where to start. I moved to Champaign/Urbana in April of 2012. It was not the best decision of my life, but it did open up windows of new opportunities for me. I had my gastric bypass surgery back in January of 2011. At the time it appeared to be the best option for me so that I could gain back good health and be there for my kids. Unfortunately the surgery has caused me nothing but misery. The only bright side is that I have lost 149 lbs. But after multiple surgeries since then, I am now going to have the gastric Y-enroux revised by a surgeon at Mayo Clinic so I an eat and be possibly human again. I have met a wonderful man, named Jeff Faulkner, who will become my future husband. I never realized how much he loves me until last night when we sat down and discussed my surgery. He is petrified just as much as me. But we both know I have to do this so I can be somewhat normal again. As normal as I can be. I can't wait now to become Carla Faulkner. And become a step Mom and step grandma to a wonderful family. My kids simply adore Jeff and he will be a great step father to them. I miss my Daddy (up in heaven) so very much. Wish he was here to give me a great big hug. I really miss his hugs. More to come... Carla

SuperBowl

You know the superbowl is an exiting time for so many people. It brings them together to watch a great football game waiting to see if their favorite team is going to win. Bringing people together is the best part, whether its family, friends or just each other. I had a great time tonight sitting and laughing with all the girls in my house tonight about random stuff and that is what is special. The time with your people.

Thank you for all the best people in my life God. You bring them to me when I need them the most and my heart opens up to them when I need them the most.

I miss my Daddy, he went home, for now and I keep praying for him daily.

Start of a new week, now lets see what this week brings. I pray God brings me a good man, for friendship, companionship, love and fun.

Til then.... night all

Monday's

You know Monday's can be one of those days when your feet hit the floor and the devil thinks "Oh shit she's up" or it can be one of those days when God says lets tempt her all day. I think I had both of those things all day. Lets just say a couple of Smirnoff's had settled that kind of feeling where I wanted to "fork" people. All I can do is ask for a better tomorrow. So what was my blessing from God today my "Maxine" desk calendar arrived and made me laugh. We all need some kind of humor every day in our lives and we all need to pay attention to the different blessing's God gives us. Mine is my Daddy is still with me and I am truly loved oh and "statbucks" vanilla latte's are the bomb.

So I pray tomorrow it a much better day and that I learn to be one of God's disciples again and make some ones day a good also.

Tell again...

Jan. 17th

So today I turned 45 and I really don't feel like I am 45. But then I look at my kiddos and think how did they get to be 18, 18 and 16 so then I guess that makes me 45. But in my mind I am 30ish.... Or so I like to think. So we celebrated at work with pizza and I worked 14 hours. So I guess 45 isn't old after all.

My blessings was my Venti size vanilla latte today which smelled amazing and was amazing. I got a lot of birthday wishes and many text messages wishing my a happy birthday, so you know I am loved and liked. Which makes me a very blessed person. I missed my kiddos so I guess tomorrow night they are going to make it special for me.

Now 45 does mean that I need to go to the eye doctor and get new glasses and get my trifocals and therefore I can see again. But you know I am happy. I happy because I am me, and I like me. I am a hot sexy 45 year old mama and all the hard work has paid off.

Now for 2012, lets make this a great year.

I love my Daddy, he will make it thru and beat this lung cancer cause he is blessed also.

Till we meet again....

2012

I have not been on here for some time, I believe this is the start of a new year and a new perspective for me. Life has not been good for me the last 3 years and I never make news years resolutions cause no actually keeps them. Financially life has been tough but I just can't seem to get anyone to adopt any of my kiddos, so here I am working 2 jobs and so far making it thru. I have learned so many hard lessons from choices which the consequences are a bitch. But we all strive to be happy in this world, but what is true happiness? We seem to search it thru others, thru material wealth, our children our animals but you know what it has taken me some time to come to the understanding that God gives us happiness every day we just don't seem to stop in our busy lives to observe the blessings of happiness. Like Linus always said on peanuts, life if happiness when he had his blankie. I have decided to stop looking to others to make me happy. Only I can do that, and of course with God's help (and a million dollars would be nice). But the first thing is every morning when my feet hit the floor to start a new day and my dog Maggie licks my face and the devil is thinking oh Shit shes up an going again is a good start. Coffee is forever a true blessing, chocolate, children laughing, and just the unconditional things that happen to us every day that should make us stop and realize this is happiness. Cause there is no true blissful happiness out there. My gastric bypass surgery was one year ago, I have made great strides and probably have lengthened my time on earth to (torture my kids longer) but to love longer also. I have lost 144 lbs and I feel wonderful. Except for an ulcer and now a cyst. But oh well. Thats for another day. So tonights blessings from God will be sweet dreams of what ever we all wish for and a start of a new day.

New Man

I have found a new man and he is amazing. I never thought God would bring a good man into my life but once I gave up looking so hard and I learned to like myself God brought me someone great.

I pray and hope that we continue with our chemistry and our relationship.

Life

Life takes us so many different directions....