Life

Life takes us so many different directions....

Rock Bottom

Okay so i finally hit rock bottom, I thought I had done that awhile back but nope I just did this week. I am tired of not being happy and I am tired of being sad. I am picking myself up and brushing myself off and going to get healthy and happy again.

I don't need a man in my life to make me complete, all I need is myself and God.

Eat, Love and pray boy did that book really hit me when I needed it. I could so relate to this lady pretty much exactly where I was and how I have been. So now I must pick myself up, and be the person I want to be. That is the plan. Just sit back and watch as the new me unfolds you may like me or maybe you won't but thats ok, because I am who God wants me to be "Uniquely yours".....

Do you believe?

Well I guess I haven't been on here in quit some time. I really need to continue doing these blogs, it helps me and I hope it helps some one else some day.

We all have memories from our child hood, from our own children to husbands, friends etc. Some memories are wonderful others aren't so good. But none the less we have them. They actually help us to grow into more productive people of God. We must set aside all the bad memories and cherish the good memories because those are the ones that are a gift from God. I have many good memories, and some well not so good. But as my bible study tells me these memories make us who we are, a child of God. I don't know about you but I just want to be one of the numbers of people with the seal on my forehead that states I am a follower of God when the day of redemption comes.

Therefore we all must "let go" of some things in our lives that makes us unhappy but that are pleasing to God. I have done so here lately and it scares me to death, but I know God will provide, he always does if we truly believe in him.

Do you believe?

Summer

Summer becomes a time for kids to unwind, but yet parents don't get a chance to unwind...Why? Once you become a parent you are always a parent there is no one to step in and take over for you no one to come to your rescue when you don't want to do it anymore. You have to do it and for what the look on their face or the words out of the lips that say "I love you Mom"....that is why we keep plugging along and enjoying every minute of who we are, we are "Parents"....

Bullying

Wow, why do kids have to be so mean? God makes us all different for a reason, but yet kids look at other kids who are different and do the meanest things. Why is it as adults we figure this all out and learn to not accept the bullying but these kids love or thrive on hurting others. So then why does God have to make us all different? what if we all looked alike, sounded alike, did everything alike, then it would be so boring that the world would eventually stop evovling.

I sit here listen to my kids and look at my cat (who is very comfortably taking up my bed) and realize that God makes us a different to achieve the one thing we must achieve and that is to learn to love one another for each and everyone's differences just as Christ does.

That's what I do so now lets see if others can also. Stop the bullying.

In a while

I haven't been here in awhile....life just seems to throw so many different things at me that keeps me from getting time to do some of the things I like. But then I chose 3 kids a full time job and well single parenting.

Today my (mike's and my) twins turned 17 years old. Wow how did that happen? I just look at them and think how does life go by so quickly and I can remember the first time they took their first step, their first bike ride, their first time they told me that they love me. I can't loose that ever cause every time they say I love you Mom makes me smile on the inside and I love them soo much.

Thanks for all these years and many more to come, my girls.

So this is all there is...

Jesus died for all of us on the cross, what are you going to do for him?

Been awhile

Well its been awhile since I've had the chance to be on here....

many things are going on in my life...first my meeting in E St Louis for 4 days wow what a time...gambled but didn't loose everything,,,came home with a little bit...

Learned alot of things and hope accomplished many things...

Now if I could just get my personal life and health under control again I would be even happier.... I have the most wonderful doctor working with me and I feel confident that we will get me back together....Just pray I am not going to be Humpty Dumpty for ever...hahaha

anyway, I will keep you all posted

Travel

I am off to East St Louis tomorrow night for a 3 day meeting.... I am so looking forward to it, although I play a big part in this meeting and I am somewhat a little scared. Okay I said it I am scared, sometimes yeah. I was pettrified the day I moved out from my husband. But we all have to face our fears no matter what they are, I face my fears daily.

I am soooo excited I am going on a cruise in October just by myself on a Girls Getaway Cruise with Karen Kingsbury. This is a christian girls getwaway cruise on a Royal Carribian cruise liner. This is going to be a long awaited vacation for me. Being a single mother of these 3 trying teenagers is well, trying at times. Although I have the best 3 girls anyone would ever want. I am so fortunate and I am so blessed. Thank God.

Saturday

So it's now March the sun has been shining and the weather is warming....I am so glad to see Spring coming. This winter has been hard and long. But life and times are looking up. I am so enjoying the days now. I am completely and utterly embracing the singleness of life. I may be single but I am never alone. God is always with me and with you also.

Weight Watchers, well what more can I say other than woo hoo... 4 lbs this last week...

I am off to East St Louis this coming Wednesday....for our Zone C meeting thru work. I am staying at the Casino Queen...Oh what fun I am looking forward too....woot woot...

I am going on a cruise this coming Ocotober all by myself....with the Girls Getaway Cruise thru my most favorite christian author Karen Kingsbury....Woohoo....

More to come....

New Me & a New U 2

Okay....So after a sleepless night, many numerous weird dreams and missed work....I am going to stop dealing with modern medicine and start taking better care of myself the way I should....

Vitamins, eating habits, exercise and chiropratctor here I come daily....If I don't make these changes no one else will. So we all have one body and why should we abuse it just because we want to....God only gives us just this one gift and so most people never use it to its full potential, I on the other hand am willing to try.... It doesn't matter where we live, who we are, or what friends we have or where we work, all that matters is that daily we get up, we breath and we can do many things. Just think if you woke up some morning and guess what you can't move,,,,,some day that can happen so why abust our gift. I am not going to any more....

Psalm 131 states it clearly: "Lord my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty, Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me.
Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child with his mother Like a weaned child is my soul within me."

Amen.

Can't sleep

So can't sleep seems I have gotten all caught up over the weekend...However still not feeling good... Oh well...

Gave David my belated valentines gift, he was so caught off guard and so surprised that he had a tear in his eye....that is what true love really is all about....

All my love, David

Enough

Ok,,,,so enough with the winter weather already? Do I get an Amen from everybody....

I just can't seem to shake this illness,,,,sucks....oh well better than the alternative...although I do like Daisies....lol

Haven't talked to David all weekend,,,,think he knows he pissed me off....guess it's meant to be,,,NOT...

I have never slept this much in my whole life until now.....You would think I was caught up....

New week coming up

Thursday

So after several bouts of meds from the doctor in springfield...I believe I am on the healing side of things for now....woohoo

trip coming up in March 11- 13th to East St Louis,,,,look out Zone C here I come with many gifts to bear and fun to be had by all...

the girls totally rocked to Shinedown....looks like I will be taking them to other concerts here soon...can't wait....

Worked all day today...long day made it thru tho....lol

So start of Lenten yesterday....what are you going to give up to observe God and all his goodness? I am giving $1.00 a day towards the Haitian relief and giving up of my yes shall it be "Ice Cream" oh no the torture....But God will take me through it....no more butter pecan or rocky road I MUST BE STRONG....TEHEHE

till next time....

Luv all

Sick Sucks

I woke up sicker than a dog,,,, couldn't take the girls to the Shinedown, Puddle of Mud, Skillet concert...so their Dad and Lisa's son Johnny went. I pray they are having a good time....Kelsey needs this time and the girls need this time with their Dad.

I have pneumonia, I am soooooo tired of being sick. I think my Immune system went on vacation. I am going to demand a return on my immune system....

LOL

Days

Some days it just seems hard.... We are parents first and foremost and being there for our children is the upmost important thing we will ever do.... How do we support them when we know that they are going to crash when we know it because we almost want to tell them "told you so" but we don't and let them experience things first hand. It's just picking up the pieces of their shattered self esteem is hard.

I love our girls with all my heart. Lets just hope and pray that God watches out for them and comforts them when they feel the world is crashing down on them. Cause I have been there.....Life on the other side is good as long as we truly love God and ourselves.

Life

So when does life start? When does God step in and tell us our life's journey?

Can't Sleep

So it's Friday evening and I can't sleep. I fell in the shower this evening and hurt my shoulder pretty bad. Gosh a fall on the ice down 5 steps and now a fall in the shower. I am marking them up one by one.

Why? why is it that life can hand you lemons and even though you try to make lemonade we always forget the ice.

So I thank the Lord for what I have because I am totally blessed and then I continue to look for the good in my life.

Except for David, he never called and never showed up tonight. Gosh I guess I am moving on in the right direction. So Darrell here I am....

Saturday's

I love Saturday's especially since I can go out and have fun....Look out Quincy here come Jessica & I to drink, dance and what ever else....

Shinedown, Puddle of mud and Skillet concert on Feb. 13th in Peoria,,,, The girls and I are going woohoo!!!!

Love to all....

I'm on the prowl

I am single and out looking....I have come to embrace the single life. Coming and going and doing what I want when I want with no one to answer to. Although I do miss that someone special to curl up with at night. Some day God will bring that special someone into my life. Someday

Sundays

Just got to love Sundays...day to relax enjoy family and church....

but the hurt is still there.... Now he won't even call me....

too scared I guess....

why?

Empty

Why is it that the good person comes in last and always gets walked away from? I have searched and searched I am a good mother (better than my own), I give and give but then I am the one who always gets hurt. So maybe being the good person is not always the answer.

Friends come and go, they throw you away when you do one thing that is totally wrong but the one person that stays constant in our life is God. I guess I will empty my bowls and allow him to lead me where ever.

But the hurt....I guess loving someone with all your heart isn't really worth it.

Girls gone

Yeah the girls are going to spend the weekend with their father.....I get some peace & quiet and time to just think about me....

This I pray will be a chance for David and I to talk....

Perceive

How do you perceive life? Really look at life and what do you see? You can either choose to accept the world the way it is or you can look the other direction and see the God created everything. But are you in a stage where you are ready to accept that fact? Until you open your eyes, hearts and soul to the love of God your life will never feel complete.

I love God, do you?

Alone

Have you ever been alone? Really been alone.

Until you roll over in the night and reach out to touch the man you were married to and then realize he is gone and will be gone forever and that he is with another woman will make you realize that you are alone....no matter how strong you are emotionally it will still make you stop to question who and what you are....

Cold

It is so cold out that all just need to hunker down and cuddle and love the one who is next to you....unless we all don't have anyone then I guess it is only in our new and upcoming 2010.....

Cranberry/Vodka to one and all....