Carla

SuperBowl

2012-02-05T18:24:00.000-08:00

You know the superbowl is an exiting time for so many people. It brings them together to watch a great football game waiting to see if their favorite team is going to win. Bringing people together is the best part, whether its family, friends or just each other. I had a great time tonight sitting and laughing with all the girls in my house tonight about random stuff and that is what is special. The time with your people.

Thank you for all the best people in my life God. You bring them to me when I need them the most and my heart opens up to them when I need them the most.

I miss my Daddy, he went home, for now and I keep praying for him daily.

Start of a new week, now lets see what this week brings. I pray God brings me a good man, for friendship, companionship, love and fun.

Til then.... night all

Monday's

2012-01-23T18:14:00.000-08:00

You know Monday's can be one of those days when your feet hit the floor and the devil thinks "Oh shit she's up" or it can be one of those days when God says lets tempt her all day. I think I had both of those things all day. Lets just say a couple of Smirnoff's had settled that kind of feeling where I wanted to "fork" people. All I can do is ask for a better tomorrow. So what was my blessing from God today my "Maxine" desk calendar arrived and made me laugh. We all need some kind of humor every day in our lives and we all need to pay attention to the different blessing's God gives us. Mine is my Daddy is still with me and I am truly loved oh and "statbucks" vanilla latte's are the bomb.

So I pray tomorrow it a much better day and that I learn to be one of God's disciples again and make some ones day a good also.

Tell again...

Jan. 17th

2012-01-17T20:13:00.000-08:00

So today I turned 45 and I really don't feel like I am 45. But then I look at my kiddos and think how did they get to be 18, 18 and 16 so then I guess that makes me 45. But in my mind I am 30ish.... Or so I like to think. So we celebrated at work with pizza and I worked 14 hours. So I guess 45 isn't old after all.

My blessings was my Venti size vanilla latte today which smelled amazing and was amazing. I got a lot of birthday wishes and many text messages wishing my a happy birthday, so you know I am loved and liked. Which makes me a very blessed person. I missed my kiddos so I guess tomorrow night they are going to make it special for me.

Now 45 does mean that I need to go to the eye doctor and get new glasses and get my trifocals and therefore I can see again. But you know I am happy. I happy because I am me, and I like me. I am a hot sexy 45 year old mama and all the hard work has paid off.

Now for 2012, lets make this a great year.

I love my Daddy, he will make it thru and beat this lung cancer cause he is blessed also.

Till we meet again....

2012

2012-01-16T18:42:00.000-08:00

I have not been on here for some time, I believe this is the start of a new year and a new perspective for me. Life has not been good for me the last 3 years and I never make news years resolutions cause no actually keeps them. Financially life has been tough but I just can't seem to get anyone to adopt any of my kiddos, so here I am working 2 jobs and so far making it thru. I have learned so many hard lessons from choices which the consequences are a bitch. But we all strive to be happy in this world, but what is true happiness? We seem to search it thru others, thru material wealth, our children our animals but you know what it has taken me some time to come to the understanding that God gives us happiness every day we just don't seem to stop in our busy lives to observe the blessings of happiness. Like Linus always said on peanuts, life if happiness when he had his blankie. I have decided to stop looking to others to make me happy. Only I can do that, and of course with God's help (and a million dollars would be nice). But the first thing is every morning when my feet hit the floor to start a new day and my dog Maggie licks my face and the devil is thinking oh Shit shes up an going again is a good start. Coffee is forever a true blessing, chocolate, children laughing, and just the unconditional things that happen to us every day that should make us stop and realize this is happiness. Cause there is no true blissful happiness out there. My gastric bypass surgery was one year ago, I have made great strides and probably have lengthened my time on earth to (torture my kids longer) but to love longer also. I have lost 144 lbs and I feel wonderful. Except for an ulcer and now a cyst. But oh well. Thats for another day. So tonights blessings from God will be sweet dreams of what ever we all wish for and a start of a new day.

New Man

2011-02-21T12:20:00.001-08:00

I have found a new man and he is amazing. I never thought God would bring a good man into my life but once I gave up looking so hard and I learned to like myself God brought me someone great.

I pray and hope that we continue with our chemistry and our relationship.

Life

2010-08-27T20:09:00.000-07:00

Life takes us so many different directions....

Rock Bottom

2010-08-19T17:26:00.000-07:00

Okay so i finally hit rock bottom, I thought I had done that awhile back but nope I just did this week. I am tired of not being happy and I am tired of being sad. I am picking myself up and brushing myself off and going to get healthy and happy again.

I don't need a man in my life to make me complete, all I need is myself and God.

Eat, Love and pray boy did that book really hit me when I needed it. I could so relate to this lady pretty much exactly where I was and how I have been. So now I must pick myself up, and be the person I want to be. That is the plan. Just sit back and watch as the new me unfolds you may like me or maybe you won't but thats ok, because I am who God wants me to be "Uniquely yours".....

Do you believe?

2010-07-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well I guess I haven't been on here in quit some time. I really need to continue doing these blogs, it helps me and I hope it helps some one else some day.

We all have memories from our child hood, from our own children to husbands, friends etc. Some memories are wonderful others aren't so good. But none the less we have them. They actually help us to grow into more productive people of God. We must set aside all the bad memories and cherish the good memories because those are the ones that are a gift from God. I have many good memories, and some well not so good. But as my bible study tells me these memories make us who we are, a child of God. I don't know about you but I just want to be one of the numbers of people with the seal on my forehead that states I am a follower of God when the day of redemption comes.

Therefore we all must "let go" of some things in our lives that makes us unhappy but that are pleasing to God. I have done so here lately and it scares me to death, but I know God will provide, he always does if we truly believe in him.

Do you believe?

Summer

2010-06-07T18:25:00.001-07:00

Summer becomes a time for kids to unwind, but yet parents don't get a chance to unwind...Why? Once you become a parent you are always a parent there is no one to step in and take over for you no one to come to your rescue when you don't want to do it anymore. You have to do it and for what the look on their face or the words out of the lips that say "I love you Mom"....that is why we keep plugging along and enjoying every minute of who we are, we are "Parents"....

Bullying

2010-05-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

Wow, why do kids have to be so mean? God makes us all different for a reason, but yet kids look at other kids who are different and do the meanest things. Why is it as adults we figure this all out and learn to not accept the bullying but these kids love or thrive on hurting others. So then why does God have to make us all different? what if we all looked alike, sounded alike, did everything alike, then it would be so boring that the world would eventually stop evovling.

I sit here listen to my kids and look at my cat (who is very comfortably taking up my bed) and realize that God makes us a different to achieve the one thing we must achieve and that is to learn to love one another for each and everyone's differences just as Christ does.

That's what I do so now lets see if others can also. Stop the bullying.

In a while

2010-05-02T19:10:00.000-07:00

I haven't been here in awhile....life just seems to throw so many different things at me that keeps me from getting time to do some of the things I like. But then I chose 3 kids a full time job and well single parenting.

Today my (mike's and my) twins turned 17 years old. Wow how did that happen? I just look at them and think how does life go by so quickly and I can remember the first time they took their first step, their first bike ride, their first time they told me that they love me. I can't loose that ever cause every time they say I love you Mom makes me smile on the inside and I love them soo much.

Thanks for all these years and many more to come, my girls.

So this is all there is...

2010-04-02T16:42:00.001-07:00

Jesus died for all of us on the cross, what are you going to do for him?

Been awhile

2010-03-16T18:37:00.000-07:00

Well its been awhile since I've had the chance to be on here....

many things are going on in my life...first my meeting in E St Louis for 4 days wow what a time...gambled but didn't loose everything,,,came home with a little bit...

Learned alot of things and hope accomplished many things...

Now if I could just get my personal life and health under control again I would be even happier.... I have the most wonderful doctor working with me and I feel confident that we will get me back together....Just pray I am not going to be Humpty Dumpty for ever...hahaha

anyway, I will keep you all posted

Travel

2010-03-09T18:49:00.000-08:00

I am off to East St Louis tomorrow night for a 3 day meeting.... I am so looking forward to it, although I play a big part in this meeting and I am somewhat a little scared. Okay I said it I am scared, sometimes yeah. I was pettrified the day I moved out from my husband. But we all have to face our fears no matter what they are, I face my fears daily.

I am soooo excited I am going on a cruise in October just by myself on a Girls Getaway Cruise with Karen Kingsbury. This is a christian girls getwaway cruise on a Royal Carribian cruise liner. This is going to be a long awaited vacation for me. Being a single mother of these 3 trying teenagers is well, trying at times. Although I have the best 3 girls anyone would ever want. I am so fortunate and I am so blessed. Thank God.

Saturday

2010-03-06T14:39:00.000-08:00

So it's now March the sun has been shining and the weather is warming....I am so glad to see Spring coming. This winter has been hard and long. But life and times are looking up. I am so enjoying the days now. I am completely and utterly embracing the singleness of life. I may be single but I am never alone. God is always with me and with you also.

Weight Watchers, well what more can I say other than woo hoo... 4 lbs this last week...

I am off to East St Louis this coming Wednesday....for our Zone C meeting thru work. I am staying at the Casino Queen...Oh what fun I am looking forward too....woot woot...

I am going on a cruise this coming Ocotober all by myself....with the Girls Getaway Cruise thru my most favorite christian author Karen Kingsbury....Woohoo....

More to come....

New Me & a New U 2

2010-02-23T12:16:00.000-08:00

Okay....So after a sleepless night, many numerous weird dreams and missed work....I am going to stop dealing with modern medicine and start taking better care of myself the way I should....

Vitamins, eating habits, exercise and chiropratctor here I come daily....If I don't make these changes no one else will. So we all have one body and why should we abuse it just because we want to....God only gives us just this one gift and so most people never use it to its full potential, I on the other hand am willing to try.... It doesn't matter where we live, who we are, or what friends we have or where we work, all that matters is that daily we get up, we breath and we can do many things. Just think if you woke up some morning and guess what you can't move,,,,,some day that can happen so why abust our gift. I am not going to any more....

Psalm 131 states it clearly: "Lord my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty, Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me.
Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child with his mother Like a weaned child is my soul within me."

Amen.

Can't sleep

2010-02-22T22:11:00.001-08:00

So can't sleep seems I have gotten all caught up over the weekend...However still not feeling good... Oh well...

Gave David my belated valentines gift, he was so caught off guard and so surprised that he had a tear in his eye....that is what true love really is all about....

All my love, David

Enough

2010-02-21T16:18:00.000-08:00

Ok,,,,so enough with the winter weather already? Do I get an Amen from everybody....

I just can't seem to shake this illness,,,,sucks....oh well better than the alternative...although I do like Daisies....lol

Haven't talked to David all weekend,,,,think he knows he pissed me off....guess it's meant to be,,,NOT...

I have never slept this much in my whole life until now.....You would think I was caught up....

New week coming up

Thursday

2010-02-18T18:45:00.000-08:00

So after several bouts of meds from the doctor in springfield...I believe I am on the healing side of things for now....woohoo

trip coming up in March 11- 13th to East St Louis,,,,look out Zone C here I come with many gifts to bear and fun to be had by all...

the girls totally rocked to Shinedown....looks like I will be taking them to other concerts here soon...can't wait....

Worked all day today...long day made it thru tho....lol

So start of Lenten yesterday....what are you going to give up to observe God and all his goodness? I am giving $1.00 a day towards the Haitian relief and giving up of my yes shall it be "Ice Cream" oh no the torture....But God will take me through it....no more butter pecan or rocky road I MUST BE STRONG....TEHEHE

till next time....

Luv all

Sick Sucks

2010-02-13T16:54:00.001-08:00

I woke up sicker than a dog,,,, couldn't take the girls to the Shinedown, Puddle of Mud, Skillet concert...so their Dad and Lisa's son Johnny went. I pray they are having a good time....Kelsey needs this time and the girls need this time with their Dad.

I have pneumonia, I am soooooo tired of being sick. I think my Immune system went on vacation. I am going to demand a return on my immune system....

LOL

Days

2010-02-11T19:13:00.000-08:00

Some days it just seems hard.... We are parents first and foremost and being there for our children is the upmost important thing we will ever do.... How do we support them when we know that they are going to crash when we know it because we almost want to tell them "told you so" but we don't and let them experience things first hand. It's just picking up the pieces of their shattered self esteem is hard.

I love our girls with all my heart. Lets just hope and pray that God watches out for them and comforts them when they feel the world is crashing down on them. Cause I have been there.....Life on the other side is good as long as we truly love God and ourselves.

Life

2010-02-06T21:29:00.000-08:00

So when does life start? When does God step in and tell us our life's journey?

Can't Sleep

2010-02-05T22:41:00.000-08:00

So it's Friday evening and I can't sleep. I fell in the shower this evening and hurt my shoulder pretty bad. Gosh a fall on the ice down 5 steps and now a fall in the shower. I am marking them up one by one.

Why? why is it that life can hand you lemons and even though you try to make lemonade we always forget the ice.

So I thank the Lord for what I have because I am totally blessed and then I continue to look for the good in my life.

Except for David, he never called and never showed up tonight. Gosh I guess I am moving on in the right direction. So Darrell here I am....

Saturday's

2010-01-30T10:55:00.001-08:00

I love Saturday's especially since I can go out and have fun....Look out Quincy here come Jessica & I to drink, dance and what ever else....

Shinedown, Puddle of mud and Skillet concert on Feb. 13th in Peoria,,,, The girls and I are going woohoo!!!!

Love to all....

I'm on the prowl

2010-01-20T20:16:00.000-08:00

I am single and out looking....I have come to embrace the single life. Coming and going and doing what I want when I want with no one to answer to. Although I do miss that someone special to curl up with at night. Some day God will bring that special someone into my life. Someday

Sundays

2010-01-10T11:35:00.001-08:00

Just got to love Sundays...day to relax enjoy family and church....

but the hurt is still there.... Now he won't even call me....

too scared I guess....

why?

Empty

2010-01-09T21:25:00.000-08:00

Why is it that the good person comes in last and always gets walked away from? I have searched and searched I am a good mother (better than my own), I give and give but then I am the one who always gets hurt. So maybe being the good person is not always the answer.

Friends come and go, they throw you away when you do one thing that is totally wrong but the one person that stays constant in our life is God. I guess I will empty my bowls and allow him to lead me where ever.

But the hurt....I guess loving someone with all your heart isn't really worth it.

Girls gone

2010-01-09T06:30:00.001-08:00

Yeah the girls are going to spend the weekend with their father.....I get some peace & quiet and time to just think about me....

This I pray will be a chance for David and I to talk....

Perceive

2010-01-05T20:34:00.000-08:00

How do you perceive life? Really look at life and what do you see? You can either choose to accept the world the way it is or you can look the other direction and see the God created everything. But are you in a stage where you are ready to accept that fact? Until you open your eyes, hearts and soul to the love of God your life will never feel complete.

I love God, do you?

Alone

2010-01-01T20:01:00.001-08:00

Have you ever been alone? Really been alone.

Until you roll over in the night and reach out to touch the man you were married to and then realize he is gone and will be gone forever and that he is with another woman will make you realize that you are alone....no matter how strong you are emotionally it will still make you stop to question who and what you are....

Cold

2010-01-01T19:12:00.000-08:00

It is so cold out that all just need to hunker down and cuddle and love the one who is next to you....unless we all don't have anyone then I guess it is only in our new and upcoming 2010.....

Cranberry/Vodka to one and all....

New year

2009-12-31T08:45:00.001-08:00

Happy New year to everyone....

I pray that 2010 will be a much better year for the girls and I. 2009 turned out to not be the best, so on to a new one. God has provided and will continue to provide for us.

Please make this New Years eve a safe and happy one for everyone.

Holidays

2009-12-30T20:39:00.000-08:00

My second christmas without Mike has proved to be okay. It was hard but I made it through without a lot of depression. Why does life have to be such trials and tribulations? I feel that God has put me through so many hoops, all I am looking for is happiness. I am totally independent but yet I don't want to be completely alone. All I strive for is companionship and friendship.

Why is it we all strive to not be alone. I have such a fear of being alone. Something I am having to work hard on getting past.

Fair

2009-12-27T20:57:00.000-08:00

I am deeply in love with David and it does not seem fair that I can not have him....
He seems to keep pushing me away, waisted days and nights and still no time from him to love me. Sucks

Lost love

2009-12-27T20:53:00.000-08:00

It hurts to much to remember. To remember the lost days of when I could look across the room and see the one person who loves me the most. Now all I see across the room is emptiness. My heart needs fulfilled, it needs to love and the one person that I love is not here for me. Why?

useless days

2009-12-27T20:51:00.000-08:00

Why is it that when we are the most vunerable we feel that the world is against us? I look and look for things and they aren't there. I then feel like are we, as humans, ever going to feel complete? These are just the many questions I think we all wonder about.